Friday, July 11, 2003
EDUCATION #1 (“Don’t hustle me like I’m a skell.” - Bobby Simone)
Every Friday afternoon Sister Bigandtall would read us a section from The Junkie Priest. I really came to look forward to these sessions even though I had only the vaguest idea of what was going on. I did know we wouldn’t be tested on the material, and that was enough for me. But one Friday the pattern was broken when Sister Bigandtall cleared her throat and addressed the class.
SB&T: “Today instead of reading we are going to talk about philosophy. Do any of you know what existentialism is?”
Of course none of us had a clue.
SB&T: “Existentialism is a philosophy, but it is a very strange philosophy. Existentialists don’t believe in God. In fact, existentialists don’t believe in much of anything at all. They believe that only concepts are real, not things."
It was late in the day. People were yawning, looking out the windows. Someone threw a spitball.
Sister Bigandtall looked around and realized that she was in danger of losing her audience. Suddenly she was seized by inspiration. She left the lectern and picked up a chair.
SB&T: “For instance, if I took this chair and asked an existentialist what it was, he wouldn’t answer. An exisentialist wouldn't admit that he saw a chair. That is because existentialists don’t believe in chairs as things. An existentialist would tell you he believed in the concept of chairness, but not in actual chairs."
We’ve got it now. Most of us are laughing out loud at the very idea. Who knew there were such crazy people in the world?
SB&T: “So, are any of you attracted to this philosophy? Do any of you think you might become existentialists?”
Not a hand went up. Sister looked quite pleased.
SB&T: “Anyone?"
Dramatic pause.
SVT: "I thought not. Class dismissed."
Every Friday afternoon Sister Bigandtall would read us a section from The Junkie Priest. I really came to look forward to these sessions even though I had only the vaguest idea of what was going on. I did know we wouldn’t be tested on the material, and that was enough for me. But one Friday the pattern was broken when Sister Bigandtall cleared her throat and addressed the class.
SB&T: “Today instead of reading we are going to talk about philosophy. Do any of you know what existentialism is?”
Of course none of us had a clue.
SB&T: “Existentialism is a philosophy, but it is a very strange philosophy. Existentialists don’t believe in God. In fact, existentialists don’t believe in much of anything at all. They believe that only concepts are real, not things."
It was late in the day. People were yawning, looking out the windows. Someone threw a spitball.
Sister Bigandtall looked around and realized that she was in danger of losing her audience. Suddenly she was seized by inspiration. She left the lectern and picked up a chair.
SB&T: “For instance, if I took this chair and asked an existentialist what it was, he wouldn’t answer. An exisentialist wouldn't admit that he saw a chair. That is because existentialists don’t believe in chairs as things. An existentialist would tell you he believed in the concept of chairness, but not in actual chairs."
We’ve got it now. Most of us are laughing out loud at the very idea. Who knew there were such crazy people in the world?
SB&T: “So, are any of you attracted to this philosophy? Do any of you think you might become existentialists?”
Not a hand went up. Sister looked quite pleased.
SB&T: “Anyone?"
Dramatic pause.
SVT: "I thought not. Class dismissed."
