Thursday, December 04, 2003
TOP OF THE MORN
"I was up all night. Couldn't sleep at all. So sick to my stomach I couldn't believe it."
The chatter was coming from the cubicle directly at my right. I ducked down and
pounded on my keyboard, trying to drown out the latest co-worker health
update.
Then, the same voice, now coming from the cubicle one up and one over. "Helen, excuse
me. Helen, do you drink caffeine tea?"
"No, I don't. I never touch caffeine. Why do you ask?"
I checked the time. I'd only been in for five minutes. Too early for a
break. So, I was in for it. I was going to get the whole report.
"The reason I ask is, well, I bought this box of tea. I only drink herbal,
organic tea. And I bought this box of tea, this one right here. And I had
a cup last night and I got so sick. I couldn't sleep a wink. I was tossing
and turning, so sick to my stomach I couldn't believe it."
"Oh, no. How sad. Do you think the tea made you sick?"
"I know it. When I got up this morning I checked the ingredients on the box
and there was caffeine in this tea. I couldn't believe it."
"Caffeine! In herbal, organic tea? That's not right."
"So, I have this box of tea. There were a dozen bags and I only had the
one. I was wondering if anyone would like the rest of the box."
"Oh, no thank you. I never touch caffeine. But you should ask Walter over there.
Maybe he would like it."
I checked my watch. 9:07.
"Walter, excuse me. Walter, do you drink caffeine tea?"
LATER THAT SAME EVENING
”Have you ever used the term caffeine tea?”
“No, I haven’t.”
“Have you ever heard of the term?”
“No, I haven’t”
“Could I ask you a question?”
“That depends.”
“Could you put yourself in a situation? Could you imagine that you were a tea drinker?
“OK.”
“A tea drinker, who only likes organic, herbal tea?”
“I guess I could do that.”
“Now, say you had a job.”
“You’re starting to take advantage of my good nature.”
“Just imagine this: You like organic, herbal tea, with no caffeine. One day, you buy a package of tea bags that are organic and herbal, but they also have caffeine, but you didn’t notice. So you make a cup of tea and then you get violently ill. You’re up all night. You’re sick.”
“Yes?”
“What would you do with the rest of the package?”
“I guess I would throw it out.”
“Remember, you have a job.”
“Only for the purpose of this discussion.”
“OK. Now, if you were violently ill and got up all sick and tired and still had to go to work, would you go get the box of tea bags that made you sick and take them to work to offer to your colleagues?”
“Why do you insist on torturing me like this?”
“I’m sorry, but I had to check.”
CODA
“That reminds me, you know we have company coming over this weekend. Can you pick up some Breakfast Blend on your way home tomorrow? And see if the Christmas Blend is out yet, would you? We certainly can't offer anyone that Jumbo Swill you've been buying at the wholesale club.”
“Sure, no problem.”
"I was up all night. Couldn't sleep at all. So sick to my stomach I couldn't believe it."
The chatter was coming from the cubicle directly at my right. I ducked down and
pounded on my keyboard, trying to drown out the latest co-worker health
update.
Then, the same voice, now coming from the cubicle one up and one over. "Helen, excuse
me. Helen, do you drink caffeine tea?"
"No, I don't. I never touch caffeine. Why do you ask?"
I checked the time. I'd only been in for five minutes. Too early for a
break. So, I was in for it. I was going to get the whole report.
"The reason I ask is, well, I bought this box of tea. I only drink herbal,
organic tea. And I bought this box of tea, this one right here. And I had
a cup last night and I got so sick. I couldn't sleep a wink. I was tossing
and turning, so sick to my stomach I couldn't believe it."
"Oh, no. How sad. Do you think the tea made you sick?"
"I know it. When I got up this morning I checked the ingredients on the box
and there was caffeine in this tea. I couldn't believe it."
"Caffeine! In herbal, organic tea? That's not right."
"So, I have this box of tea. There were a dozen bags and I only had the
one. I was wondering if anyone would like the rest of the box."
"Oh, no thank you. I never touch caffeine. But you should ask Walter over there.
Maybe he would like it."
I checked my watch. 9:07.
"Walter, excuse me. Walter, do you drink caffeine tea?"
LATER THAT SAME EVENING
”Have you ever used the term caffeine tea?”
“No, I haven’t.”
“Have you ever heard of the term?”
“No, I haven’t”
“Could I ask you a question?”
“That depends.”
“Could you put yourself in a situation? Could you imagine that you were a tea drinker?
“OK.”
“A tea drinker, who only likes organic, herbal tea?”
“I guess I could do that.”
“Now, say you had a job.”
“You’re starting to take advantage of my good nature.”
“Just imagine this: You like organic, herbal tea, with no caffeine. One day, you buy a package of tea bags that are organic and herbal, but they also have caffeine, but you didn’t notice. So you make a cup of tea and then you get violently ill. You’re up all night. You’re sick.”
“Yes?”
“What would you do with the rest of the package?”
“I guess I would throw it out.”
“Remember, you have a job.”
“Only for the purpose of this discussion.”
“OK. Now, if you were violently ill and got up all sick and tired and still had to go to work, would you go get the box of tea bags that made you sick and take them to work to offer to your colleagues?”
“Why do you insist on torturing me like this?”
“I’m sorry, but I had to check.”
CODA
“That reminds me, you know we have company coming over this weekend. Can you pick up some Breakfast Blend on your way home tomorrow? And see if the Christmas Blend is out yet, would you? We certainly can't offer anyone that Jumbo Swill you've been buying at the wholesale club.”
“Sure, no problem.”
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