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Wednesday, June 18, 2003

SPENDING #2 (I was in a hurry to get to my 10:00 Ludovico Technique session.)

Breakfast at the Office Grill.

There's a special today: Egg and cheese on a muffin, 16 oz. coffee: $2.50.

Me: "I'll have the special"
Grill Man: "Do you want that on a muffin?"
Me: "Yes."
Grill Man: "Do you want that on an english muffin?"
Me: "Yes."

Thinking the matter settled, I go get my coffee. Back at the grill, I see Grill Man slicing a big fat roll.

Grill Man: "Do you want that on a roll?"
Me: "OK, then."

I take my egg and cheese on a roll and my coffee and get in line to pay.

Cashier: "That's $3.78"
Me: "I thought that special was $2.50"
Cashier: "That's not the special. The special is on a muffin."


Thursday, June 12, 2003

OUT & ABOUT #1 (Skeptics say the darndest things. Or. Say, the Things are the darndest skeptics.)

Veterans of many circuses, three year old twins Thing 1 and Thing 2 were nonplussed when they saw a clown, in full regalia, driving next to us on the interstate. Actually, I saw him first and alerted the family by cleverly shouting: "Hey, everybody. Look over there. It's a clown."

Thing 2 stared for a minute, then struck. "That's not a clown," she said. "That's just a regular person in a clown costume."

I assured her that the clown was a real clown.

Thing 1: "If it is a real clown, then how did he get out?"


Tuesday, June 10, 2003

BOOKS #1 (And I'm only on page 57)

CLUBLAND, by Frank Owen.

If you like to read about deviants, perverts, tax evaders, sneaks, snitches, murderers, transvestites, addled drug users, and really really bad music, then this is the book you've been waiting for!

Saturday, June 07, 2003

SPENDING #1 (But then again, it’s not real food either.)

I paid for my McDonald’s lunch with gift certificates. The cashier looked a little taken aback. He studied the certificates a minute and motioned to me. “Sir, this isn’t real money,” he said. I nodded and bent toward him. “They’re called gift certificates,” I said in a low even tone. “It’s OK.” He left the register and got the manager. I saw the manager nod. It was OK.


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