MONKEYSAYS

GREEN TEA

Unaware that I was being observed, I grabbed a jug of green tea from the refrigerator and took a big swig.

In walked Thing One. “Daddy, you’re not supposed to do that. It spreads germs.”

“You’re right, One, but I’ve made an exception in this case.”

“Why, daddy?”

“I’m the only one who drinks this drink, so I don’t have to worry about spreading germs.”

“I say it is disgusting.”

“Well, it’s not really for children. It’s a drink grownups drink.”

“When I am grown up, I will still say it’s disgusting.”

“That’s fine.”

About a week later I got to thinking. “Thing,” I said. “Do you remember when we had the talk about the green tea?”

“Yes, daddy.”

“You said it was disgusting, didn’t you?”

“Yes, daddy.”

“Did you mean it was disgusting that I drank from the container, or that the drink was disgusting?”

“Yes, daddy.”

But how did you know the drink was disgusting?”

“Not that time, but before, when you were walking the dog, there was some in a cup on the counter and I sipped it, but it was disgusting”

“You know you're not supposed to drink grownup drinks from the counter, don’t you?”

“Yes, daddy. Grownup drinks are disgusting. And you can get germs from drinking from the container.”

In walked LW. “Have you been drinking right from the container again?" she scolded. "How can we ever expect these Things to act properly when you constantly carry on like this? It’s disgusting.”

“I know,” I said. “I’ve been informed.”