MONKEYSAYS

THING ONE, JUST TWO, WAS STILL HUNGRY

We were at the Norwegian Buffet. LW had taken Two to the bathroom. OB was waiting on a bench outside. One and I were waiting for the check. The table was cluttered with piles of dishes. Young server Lars approached us, gave the table a long cool look, and in a sarcastic tone asked: “Can I get you anything else?”

It took me a second or so to realize I was being insulted. First, there was the implication that One and I had been the sole eaters. Second was the fact that we were at a self serve buffet. The tousled young fellow hadn’t brought anything to the table. We’d done all the hauling ourselves. All he was really doing was pointing out the inefficiency of the staff in clearing the table.

I was about to explain this to Lars, but held myself in check as I envisioned LW’s reaction were she to return to the table and find me in yet another service related imbroglio.

One saved the day.

“Bring mar food! Bring cake!” she directed Lars.

Lars was taken aback. He half smiled and looked to me.

“You heard the lady,” I said. “Bring cake.”