Wednesday, April 28, 2004
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THING ONE, THE 5 CANONS OF RHETORIC AND A RED HERRING
Thing Two was having a hard time getting up. I rousted her as gently as I could.
“Daddy, you woke me up before I finished my dream.”
“I’m sorry, Two, but it’s time to get up and get ready for school. Do you remember what the dream was about?”
“No. Not any more.”
“That’s too bad. Maybe you’ll remember it in a little while.”
“I had a dream too. And I remember mine,” volunteered Thing One.
“No!” shouted Two.
Mommy was in my dream, and Two, and you, Daddy. You were all in my dream.”
“That’s nice, One,” I said. “But we’re trying to get ready for school now.”
“I can tell you about my dream while we get ready,” One said.
“No!” shouted Two.
“You were very funny in my dream, Daddy,” One said.
“Maybe you should tell us about it then,” I said.
“We all went on train,” One said. “We went on a lot of train rides. We were going to a club. Then when we got there we had fun and we had dinner. I had pasta with meat sauce”
“A club?” I said. “What kind of club?”
“A family club,” One said. “We were going there a lot of times, but the train ran out of grass, so we had to stop and get some more.”
“Don’t you mean gas?” I asked.
“No Daddy, grass. This train needed grass. When it stopped we all got out and picked grass for the train. Then it started working again.”
“Trains don’t use grass!” shouted Two.
“This one did,” said One. “And in the grass field there were cows, and goats and a sheep. And a zebra. All lined up.”
"A zebra is my favorite animal!" said Two.
"Anyway, this zebra was not the kind you like," said One.
“Now I remember,” Two said. “Amy and Kylie were in my dream.”
“I remember Amy and Kylie were in my dream,” One said. “And Melissa and Madison. And Cheyenne”
“No!” screamed Two. “That was my dream!”
“After we left the club we all took a train ride back to our house and everyone came back there,” One said. “We put on music and we had a dance, then we all got on a plane and went to Disney World.”
“No!” screamed Two. “You did not dream that!”
“One.” I asked. “Didn’t you say I did something funny in your dream?”
“Yes, Daddy, but that didn’t happen till after. First I have to tell you about Disney World in my dream. We were in a hotel, then I went swimming in a pool. Two wouldn’t come in the water.”
“No!” screamed Two. “I would go in the water!”
“And I went on all the rides with Amy and Kylie and you and Mommy. We went on Pooh Bear and Small World and the Tea Cups and Buzz Lightyear. But Two wouldn’t go on the rides.”
“I would go on the rides!” screamed Two. She started to sniffle.
“Let’s go downstairs for breakfast,” I said. “You can tell me the rest while you eat.”
LZ was making the coffee. “How’s everything?” she asked.
“Fine,” I said. “But Two’s a little cranky. I guess she woke up on the wrong side of the bed.”
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After she read this, LZ cautioned me: “I think the red herring was actually a McGuffin.”
"You've been watching too many old Hitchcock movies," I said. "To think that you'd accuse a young child, your own daughter, of employing a McGuffin. I can't believe it."
THING ONE, THE 5 CANONS OF RHETORIC AND A RED HERRING
Thing Two was having a hard time getting up. I rousted her as gently as I could.
“Daddy, you woke me up before I finished my dream.”
“I’m sorry, Two, but it’s time to get up and get ready for school. Do you remember what the dream was about?”
“No. Not any more.”
“That’s too bad. Maybe you’ll remember it in a little while.”
“I had a dream too. And I remember mine,” volunteered Thing One.
“No!” shouted Two.
Mommy was in my dream, and Two, and you, Daddy. You were all in my dream.”
“That’s nice, One,” I said. “But we’re trying to get ready for school now.”
“I can tell you about my dream while we get ready,” One said.
“No!” shouted Two.
“You were very funny in my dream, Daddy,” One said.
“Maybe you should tell us about it then,” I said.
“We all went on train,” One said. “We went on a lot of train rides. We were going to a club. Then when we got there we had fun and we had dinner. I had pasta with meat sauce”
“A club?” I said. “What kind of club?”
“A family club,” One said. “We were going there a lot of times, but the train ran out of grass, so we had to stop and get some more.”
“Don’t you mean gas?” I asked.
“No Daddy, grass. This train needed grass. When it stopped we all got out and picked grass for the train. Then it started working again.”
“Trains don’t use grass!” shouted Two.
“This one did,” said One. “And in the grass field there were cows, and goats and a sheep. And a zebra. All lined up.”
"A zebra is my favorite animal!" said Two.
"Anyway, this zebra was not the kind you like," said One.
“Now I remember,” Two said. “Amy and Kylie were in my dream.”
“I remember Amy and Kylie were in my dream,” One said. “And Melissa and Madison. And Cheyenne”
“No!” screamed Two. “That was my dream!”
“After we left the club we all took a train ride back to our house and everyone came back there,” One said. “We put on music and we had a dance, then we all got on a plane and went to Disney World.”
“No!” screamed Two. “You did not dream that!”
“One.” I asked. “Didn’t you say I did something funny in your dream?”
“Yes, Daddy, but that didn’t happen till after. First I have to tell you about Disney World in my dream. We were in a hotel, then I went swimming in a pool. Two wouldn’t come in the water.”
“No!” screamed Two. “I would go in the water!”
“And I went on all the rides with Amy and Kylie and you and Mommy. We went on Pooh Bear and Small World and the Tea Cups and Buzz Lightyear. But Two wouldn’t go on the rides.”
“I would go on the rides!” screamed Two. She started to sniffle.
“Let’s go downstairs for breakfast,” I said. “You can tell me the rest while you eat.”
LZ was making the coffee. “How’s everything?” she asked.
“Fine,” I said. “But Two’s a little cranky. I guess she woke up on the wrong side of the bed.”
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
After she read this, LZ cautioned me: “I think the red herring was actually a McGuffin.”
"You've been watching too many old Hitchcock movies," I said. "To think that you'd accuse a young child, your own daughter, of employing a McGuffin. I can't believe it."
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