Friday, May 28, 2004
DIVERSITY AND TECHNOLOGY, OR, BILLG BUYS ME LUNCH
A METAFICTION IN THE CLASSIC MODE
"How was the technology summit?" LZ asked.
(This being the first joke, as LZ knows better than to ask questions like this. As a matter of fact, this upcoming* story is, in a sense, a structured version of what I would tell LZ if she had been careless enough to ask.)
*upcoming - a word much favored by local news newscasters, as in "Upcoming! After this break! More local news!"
Moreover, whenever I hear "upcoming" I see Flounder vomiting on Dean Wormer and then reflexively hope against hope to see a local newscaster/sportscaster/weatherperson projectile vomit Live! But it hasn't happened yet.
"The what?" I ask, pretending to be distracted and not overly interested in relaying the nonsense of the day - if I had actually been asked, that is.
And anyway, I'd already told her the good parts, having called three times during the day.
"The technology summit," LZ said.
"You mean the Directors' and IT Managers Diversity and Technology Summit?" I asked.
(I may have to go back and fix that. I usually have the "I" of these narratives maintain a flat affect. I don't want him going all broad and sarcastic on me. It could ruin the effect.)
"I can't really talk about it now," I said. "I'm going to go write it up for the blog. I'll put your questions and comments in for you, and you can read it later."
(If I want your opinion....)
"You can't go on the computer," LZ said. "The Things are using it to learn how to read."
"Don't they have computers in the preschool for that?" I asked.
TO BE CONTINUED (as soon as I can get to a computer)
A METAFICTION IN THE CLASSIC MODE
"How was the technology summit?" LZ asked.
(This being the first joke, as LZ knows better than to ask questions like this. As a matter of fact, this upcoming* story is, in a sense, a structured version of what I would tell LZ if she had been careless enough to ask.)
*upcoming - a word much favored by local news newscasters, as in "Upcoming! After this break! More local news!"
Moreover, whenever I hear "upcoming" I see Flounder vomiting on Dean Wormer and then reflexively hope against hope to see a local newscaster/sportscaster/weatherperson projectile vomit Live! But it hasn't happened yet.
"The what?" I ask, pretending to be distracted and not overly interested in relaying the nonsense of the day - if I had actually been asked, that is.
And anyway, I'd already told her the good parts, having called three times during the day.
"The technology summit," LZ said.
"You mean the Directors' and IT Managers Diversity and Technology Summit?" I asked.
(I may have to go back and fix that. I usually have the "I" of these narratives maintain a flat affect. I don't want him going all broad and sarcastic on me. It could ruin the effect.)
"I can't really talk about it now," I said. "I'm going to go write it up for the blog. I'll put your questions and comments in for you, and you can read it later."
(If I want your opinion....)
"You can't go on the computer," LZ said. "The Things are using it to learn how to read."
"Don't they have computers in the preschool for that?" I asked.
TO BE CONTINUED (as soon as I can get to a computer)
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