MONKEYSAYS

ZENO STUFF

"Daddy, can we get a new house some day?" Thing One asked.

Nascent social climbing, I wondered, or just a vague innocent feeling that she somehow deserved better? I decided to proceed slowly.

"What kind of house are you thinking of?" I asked.

"Daddy, I would like a white house," Thing Two said.

With Two it's always the aesthetics.

"Daddy, I want a house that's not so far away," One said.

She must feel cheated, being so far out in the sticks, I thought. I feel the same way myself sometimes.

"So far away from what?" I asked.

"From school."

"Oh," I said. "Is the bus ride too long?"

"No, Daddy. I like the bus ride."

"The bus ride is too long!" said Two.

"Daddy, if we lived closer to school, we wouldn't have to get up so early, but we could still have a long bus ride."

"I said," stomped Two, "that the bus ride is too long!"

"Did you know," I asked, "that pretty soon you will be going to another school, one that is much closer?"

"Maybe," said One, "we could get another house just for a little while, then move back to this one."

"I would do it," I said. "But you know how Mommy is. I don't think she'd want to go to all the trouble."

They thought on that for a second, then both nodded sadly. Mommy was the fly in the ointment. There was no way around it.

FInally, Two broke the silence.

"Daddy." Two said, "What is fire made of and why does water put it out?

"Look," I said. "Here comes your bus now. You can ask Mommy about fire and water when you come home. Have a good day now."