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Friday, June 04, 2004

PROLOGUE

"Should we go see Shrek today?" I ask.

Chorus: "It's not Shrek, Daddy. It's Shrek 2."

IN THE THEATER

Thing One watches intently, never taking her eyes from the screen.

Thing Two squirms and ducks as if under attack.

IN THE CAR

"Daddy, can we go buy the DVD for Shrek 2 now?" asks One.

I explain the industry's position on theater grosses and release dates for DVDs.

"Then can we go back to the theater next week and watch Shrek 2 again?"

"We'll see about that," I say. "And how about you," I say to Two. "Did you like the movie?"

"I don't want to talk about it," says Two.

"Was it scary?" I ask.

"I said." (Emphatic pause) "I don't want to talk about it," says Two.

THE NEXT DAY

Two sidles up to me and whispers, "Daddy, when Shrek was a person he looked kind of cool."

"Anything else you want to say about the movie? I ask.

"No Daddy."

LATER THAT WEEK

"So," I ask, "which did you like better, Shrek or Shrek 2?"

"I liked Shrek 2 better," says One.

"And why was that?"

"I liked it when Shrek became a human."

"And what about you?" I ask Two.

"I like the regular Shrek the best," she says.

"And why is that?" I ask.

"I told you, I don't want to talk about it."

BEDTIME

"One last thing," I say to One. "For yourself, would you rather be a human or an ogre?"

"I don't want to answer that question," says One.

"Why not?" I ask.

"I'm not talking about it," says One. "And I'm not answering that question."





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