MONKEYSAYS

CONCATENATION

I had a pair of dark brown pants and an armful of sport shirts. "Which shirt should I wear with these pants?" I asked LZ.

"They're all OK," she said. "But where's the one I bought when I bought you those pants? It matched perfectly."

"It was supposed to be an outfit, then?" I asked.

"I guess so," LZ said. "Why do you ask?"

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We were three couples sharing a borrowed beach house over a Memorial Day weekend. FW and I were getting dressed for a walk on the beach. I quickly rummaged through the old gym bag that was serving as my luggage for the weekend (the actual concept of real luggage was out of my grasp at that time; I was probably only a year or so removed from stuffing my travelling clothes into a brown paper grocery bag) and pulled out a blue pair of shorts and a blue and white striped shirt.

"I'm glad to see you're wearing that outfit I bought you," FW said.

"An outfit?" I said. "I can't wear an outfit. I'm definitely not the type of person who wears outfits. I'll have to find something else."

I went back to the gym bag.

"It's not really an outfit," FW said. "It's just clothes that match."

"Are you sure?" I asked.

Of course," FW said.

"I'm going out," I said. "I'll meet you down there."

I was in a hurry because I wanted to say hello to LZ as an independent person, not as part of a couple.

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JA and my sister were walking out by a jetty. I waved to them. I saw LZ and WHN sitting on a blanket by the ocean. LZ waved and walked up the beach. We met about halfway.

"Hi," I said. "Long time no see."

"Hi," she said. "That's a nice outfit you've got on."

"I knew it," I said. "I knew this was an outfit."

And I did know what had happened. FW had deliberately sent me out in a nice outfit as a way to humiliate and control me. Of course I knew there was little possibility that LZ would leave WHN so we could run off together, but I had hopes. Now that she had seen me outfitted, in an actual outfit, there was no hope at all. In my hurry to get to the beach I'd let my guard down for a second, now I was exposed as some sort of domesticated animal, all dressed up for an afternoon promenade on the beach.

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I was so mortified that I had to laugh. Outfoxed by FW.

Maybe next year then, I thought.








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